what's wrong

What's wrong? What's wrong with giving all you can to help your closest friends, even if it means sacrificing all the happiness you have inside you? Is it stupid, foolish, or honourable? I don't know. I've never seen anything wrong in doing so, until recent events have led me to question: Have I been wrong all the time? Are friends not as important as they are supposed to be? Is it all hype? I've always taken plenty of care when choosing my closest friends, and to ensure that they knew me like I knew them. That way, a bond is formed, one that cannot be broken by petty arguments and disputes. Yet now, I question if my thinking is right, or has it all been in vain. The friends I've made, are they truly who I can call friends? or are they that suspicious when someone is willing to offer so much of himself, and take nothing in return? Must there be some selfish desire behind that? I hope not, since it's what I've been doing so who knows how long. I can only stop and hope that there will come a time when the truth is finally revealed to me, so that I know how to choose my friends. For now, it's simply hope and nothing else, nothing concrete to go on, like walking on invisible steps: you'll never know when they end, and you plunge to your death.

take me with you

I can't take it anymore. I guess it's my own fault too, for trying to keep it all inside. But I have no choice, for there's no one to let it out to, no one I feel safe talking to. Conversation is of no meaning, no consequence. Nothing lasts, right? The only people I feel safe talking to just don't seem to be able to find the time to listen. Lies abound now, and I feel no desire to stop them. What's the point? After all, they don't matter. All that remains is you, and you don't even know it. Every time I meet you, it's purely coincidental, yet it breaks my heart, for you to be so close, yet so far. Do I really love you, or is it merely infatuation? I can't tell. You're all I want, all I need. Nothing else. Please.

rejection (2)

You mistook my intention
Answering with rejection
Losing sense of direction
No more chance for redemption

An attempt to let you see
My only chance to be free
All that possibility
Now there's nothing left for me

There is nothing left to grieve
Nothing special to believe
All I had was love to give
No more desire to live

I can only ask you why
This whole life seemed like a lie
All the hope placed on one try
Only option is to die

rejection (1)

Last night I had a nightmare
Of a world where we were there
There was no love shared between
I'm still learning what it means

You were shouting out at me
Saying we weren't meant to be
But you were denying what's true
All the love I felt for you

You didn't dare to meet my eyes
Knowing that I'll see your lies
Lashing out at me then gone
But that face of yours was drawn

I just couldn't take the pain
Seeing my efforts in vain
No need for a single breath
Off the building to my death

I'm trapped in a whirlwind of emotions
Every instance feels like an explosion
Living in suspended animation
I'm seeking to break out of this prison

My heart is hurting terribly with pain
I always think I'm going insane
Have my prayers for relief been in vain
That I'll never experience peace again

My whole world's being dragged down by despair
Torn into pieces, I'm beyond repair
Not sure how much more I can bear
Before I give up hope and cease to care

I'm clinging on to the emotion love
Wishing while looking at the stars above
That some time soon I'll work up the nerve
To ask for our love to come to birth